I’d probably never love again. It’s not that I’ve got my heart broken by a foolish teenage love affair or anything else. It’s not like I’ve got my mind fucked up or like I’d never gonna love my family again. But I do, I do feel like my whole life, I’ve been trying to love everyone, treats em well with less of hurting. But in the end, what did I get? None of them to love me back. Well, I know how my parents have always said to be there by my side, whoever I am gonna be, whatever I am gonna do. But dare they forbid me to do the things I love, just because only a little undestructive harm that might occurs. Why can’t they trust my capability in things I love for all my life?
I don’t believe in teenage love affair anymore, I don’t even believe in those saying that high school is where you’ll find your first love. I can’t even figure out the true definition of love itself. People do say they love each other at the altar, saying vows that don’t mean much. They all did say they love each other, but then ends up cursing each other at the court. And looking up at those married couple, for heaven’s sake, do they honestly love each other? I don’t even think my parents do ‘love’ each other. I honestly don’t even think I love my parents beyond measure. I am so doubtful about this thing, cos, well.. All of my life, I’ve never ever found a true meaning of love. My parents do get along after 15 years, but what it’s all about? Is marriage only all about that? Being together for years?
I’m gonna marry a nice guy, someday. I’d probably have children too. But then, what if I’ll marry a wrong guy? What if there’s somebody out there who’s actually made for me, but time won’t let us be together? What if those married couples weren’t actually made for each other? What if their love of their lives are out there, marrying wrong person too? What if they could have a happier life with a complete stranger instead of their longtime lover? What if love is actually blind? Would you let a blind thing to lead your future?
So, do you believe in love, now? Cos I still don’t.